Five things I wish I knew about relationships||To all the boys-movie series

We all want to be accepted, loved, and who doesn't get warmed up and all cooey on watching a rom-com. Even those who say they don't enjoy it, it is mostly because these things feel unreal. We have to, in the end, live in reality. Today, I am here with my blog to talk about one such feeling, the feeling of belonging to someone. I have only had one serious relationship. The rest of them were either crushes or friendship. Well, I think I have only loved like three people in my entire life. (Now, before everyone starts about family and all, I am talking about romantic relationships) Sadly, all the three times I have wished I knew and kept a few things this way that I am gonna talk about, before wanting to jump in a relationship. And, weirdly I am gonna talk about this using instances or images from the new romance movie series that I watched and enjoyed in the love month; February, 'To all the boys'

1. It is okay to be single.

Lara Jean always loved her single life

I know people make friends feel left out and some people only discuss their boyfriend in your call, despite knowing you are feeling like sh*t. Instead of finding yourself someone, do yourself a favour and walk out of that stupid fight between the couples or that toxic friendship.

If you feel less about yourself just because another human, made of the same blood and flesh, is not there to treat you good, you are not treating yourself good. DO NOT LET anyone FOOL you into thinking a relationship will bring happiness or reduce your loneliness. A study has found that a year after a dream-marriage the level of satisfaction remains the same for those people and control (those who didn't get married).

I really don't wanna sound like those people who push you to be positive 24/7, but the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself.

2. Selfishness is fine.

Khud pe daya karna band karo aur khud se pyaar karna seekho; Learn to Love yourself

When you fall in love or get married, by the crazy movie logic, you should magically be obeying and only thinking about the other person. Literally they mean for you to quit your dreams. Even I used to feel this way. But we were born different with different set of dreams to accomplish and freedom to enjoy. How can a person just because they entered a society designed quota, stops being an individual with separate needs? You still are a human and an individual, not conjoined with your partner. We all remember 'Bunny' from 'Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani', don't we? We all agree at first he looks selfish and mean. But, aren't we supposed to have dreams other than just marrying, falling in love and settling down? Of course, his decision to ignore his relations was no way right but the way his eyes sparkled for travel, ours should too, for our own passion. I came to love him for his never-ending love for his work. We all have Bunny in us. I wish I knew that before trying to become Naina.

'You can't save a relationship by not growing'

In the third sequel of the movie series 'To all the boys', Lara realises that she wants something else for herself, different from the needs of her boyfriend, which leads to a series of sad events, ultimately making you question who was the selfish one. The movie is a reminder to choose what works the best for you because, in the end, the best for you will eventually benefit the ones who truly love you.

3. Friendships are more important.

The friendship, I root for; “Do you think there's a difference? Between belonging with and belonging to?”

As soon as I came out of my first relationship I knew I needed a friend who would understand rather than a boyfriend. Friendships form the basis of strong relationships. Marrying your best friend is like having a sleepover for the rest of your life. I wish I knew this before I actually looked for love.

Some say falling in love with your best friend is somewhat risky but it is worth it. Because if they walk away you know your friendship was not really strong enough to withstand a crush or sentiment. If you are the best of friends you should be able to talk everything out.

And, do not be abusive to your friends just because you got a boyfriend/girlfriend. You can still be friends without compromising on your boundaries. A good friend will definitely understand, even the one of the opposite sex. The right partner and a healthy relationship will know this too.

And don't be like 'Gen' from 'To all the boys I have loved before'.

4. Love alone, is not enough.

I grew up thinking and watching that love solves everything. But, this reality is not that rosy, love alone practically, is not enough. My beliefs were always around the fact that if I love people hard enough, they will change or at least they will consider it one day. But, in real life, love is not the only aspect of a relationship, you need compatibility, trust, and friendship. Some people grow up early and realise what they want, some don't and some will, a lot later in life. And, to have that at the same time is all about timing and compatibility. Your love language should match or at least be understood and interpreted clearly. I have seen relationships fail because the other person couldn't see what they did for them rightly.

5. Butterflies will go away.

“I’ve never gotten a love letter before. But reading these notes like this, one after the other, it feels like I have. It’s like . . . it’s like there’s only ever been, Peter. Like everyone else that came before him, they were all to prepare me for this. I think I see the difference now, between loving someone from afar and loving someone up close. When you see them up close, you see the real them, but they also get to see the real you. And Peter does. He sees me, and I see him.”

― Jenny Han, To All the Boys I've Loved Before

I had met a person who could make my stomach have a tornado and I felt all the lovely bookish poetry jitters in my knees. It was a beautiful feeling to love someone so much that you feel yourself swoon. But, then I met this person I could share ice cream with, who made my coffee extra sweet and our conversations were not at all romantic. The first person I described was my crush and a friend I considered close, yet, somehow I couldn't dare speak to him from the front or to him in person. Sitting next to him was like sailing in the storm in a deep beautiful sea that had no end. Breathtaking it was, but scary.

The latter was a friend I never knew I needed, he was like the sunshine that drenches you in warmth after all the water washes your sins. He was my subtle love.

Looking back, I don't want to experience the first part again, as much as I loved it. The butterflies die a natural death, fast and exotic. The feeling of belonging with someone doesn't. The guy or girl you feel most safe with, without getting your butterflies is most probably your partner. Love should feel like walking back home after a bad day.

---

Hey guys;

that is it for this blog. I discovered this film on Netflix. I started it very sceptically but I adored it in the end. I was watching Kritika Khurana's video where she was talking about this. I must say it was a great rom-com and I suggest everyone to watch it either with their BFF or partner, it would be awesome. I liked the last part the best, then the first and the second not so much. I would rate the movie series a 4/5 <3.

Thank you so much for reading. Of course, the blog contains some truth and some fable; and the lessons are very well applicable in real.

Love

Lunatica

#bekind

---